A journalist’s diatribe on a college’s sins

Sunday 20 July 2014

A Boston Globe writer with much gall in his ink penned his opinions on Gordon College’s recent action regarding ENDA. The Idiot wrote to the Globe editor as follows. 

Dear Editor,

I am obliged to say that it is Kevin Cullen who has insulted your readers’ intelligence (“Gordon College insults our intelligence,” Boston Globe July 14 2014). He did so by reducing what is very complex to an easy and false simplicity.

He drops the name of a deceased priest who once defied his Archbishop over sacerdotal pedophilia protected by the Church. Well and good. That must have been a courageous man. But in what respect was his dilemma an “existential question?” And how does mentioning that priest’s actions in a very different matter help readers to understand the recent action of Gordon College? Not at all, other than a very thin “what would X do?” thread of a thought.

Having certified, by reportorial association with a man worthy of the collar, his own moral and spiritual bona fides, Mr Cullen then delivers his wrathful condemnation of persons who have committed the mortal sin of disagreeing with him. Such heretics are “holy rollers” and aimless hypocrites. That term, holy roller, is typically used of a practicing member of one of the charismatic or Pentecostal Protestant churches, especially in the Southern states. And of course we all know how backward, inbred, and ignorant they are, don’t we? But any Christians whose views have not “evolved” in accordance with Mr Cullen’s are ipso facto “holy rollers.”

It will be news to many that the Constitution “forbid[s] an established religion.” I and, I suppose, most Globe readers read the clause as “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion.” Perhaps Mr Cullen had a different Constitution in mind. Or perhaps he is employing a well-known journalistic elision so as to make things simpler for the good but dim folk of Boston and New England.

With his blazing sword of Rectitude, Cullen pierces through the armor of Gordon College’s hypocrisy: “This isn’t about religious freedom. This about money. … It’s bigotry dressed up as virtue.” The notion that Gordon College is sincere and uses what tax benefits it may get to help young people who want a Christian education get a Christian education is of course risible to the hard-hitting Globe journalist. The fact that Gordon does employ same-sex attracted persons and does admit same-sex attracted students, as is proven both by a number of the comments upon his piece as well as by Gordon’s own statements, the plain fact that Gordon is not excluding anyone for their sexual preferences, well, those are not even tiny clouds in Mr Cullen’s perfect sky. Globe readers are thereby spared those troublous thoughts.

And of course, Gordon College’s understanding of Christianity does not rise to Mr Cullen’s level of understanding. He knows, sure and doesn’t he, exactly what Jesus would do in any situation. And we can rest assured that he regularly does so. The man is practically a brave priest himself. The sermon concludes with a warning about “the weakness of humans, the insidiousness of self-righteousness.”

Indeed, sir.

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